SHOULD HAPPINESS BE THE ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE?

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I have so many excuses to give for my lack of consistency, but let me assume that you came across another self-proclaimed writer who is as pathetic as I am. So i do not have to bore you with a long preamble. Let us get straight to the topic. No? Greetings first? Hi, how are you, you look good! Have you been doing yoga? Inflation is a bitch, isn’t she? it’s okay,bye i’ll text you when i get home (who ever keeps this promise though?)

Did you know that happiness is derived from the adjective happy? I know, such an under appreciated genius. Let’s look at this happiness thing. What is it? Do we have to live with a mental goal of finally feeling happy? Is the phrase ‘good vibes only’ feasible? Or should our end goal be happiness because that’s what Queen Bee said on that song of hers’? Do you expect answers for this question from me? hahahaha! Oh, you were serious? I also do not know, i am sincerely sorry for wasting your time.

But wait!I do have a theory!

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Let’s take for instance a scientist who wants to prove a certain theory. Everybody in his workplace have labelled him mad, his wife leaves him in fear that he might end up broke, a vagabond, shunned by the world,any sane woman would leave such a man,it is mere logic isn’t it not? His father has already dubbed him a failure, a disgrace to his oh-so glorious name. His mother, oh his poor mother, out of shear stress,she grows a decade older in a span of two weeks.Her voice which used to be full of praise towards her son has been muted,she has been silenced. She holds several prayer meetings with the women from her church but God does not give her an answer.She persists,one day,she hopes, because having faith has shattered her. Happiness?

All in the name of proving a THEORY. He uses this to his advantage, he goes two,sometimes three days without eating or taking a shower. Solitude is the prize. Happiness?

Is he going to be happy IF he does finally prove himself right? Is this the ultimate goal? I personally do not think so. Happiness is a dangerous and a misleading concept. The pursuit of happiness might ultimately lead to sadness and misery. Do not,an i repeat, do not seek to be happy. Let’s be frank, once you start assessing whether you are happy or not, chances are you lead a drab life.

So our scientist doesn’t turn the theory into a theorem, is this tantamount to his demise?No, he gets back on his feet and somehow leads a better life than he did before. How is this so? Because he does what interests him and not what he thinks might make him happy.

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Ask any musician who is bossing the industry whether he or she is happy doing three shows a day,sometimes four, a seven-day workweek and a maximum of four hours visit from the Sandman. Not only musicians, ask anyone who is bossing anything. If you think that one day everything will be okay then you are living a fool’s paradise. Do what you like! follow your heart!(blah, I know). Progression is a beautiful thing in life, seek it rather, let’s seek it together!

“But SJ you want to say that unadulterated happiness does not exist?”

Far from it. It does. True friendship(which is so hard to find) and family brings about true happiness. These are things not sought after, God brings them your way. 

Am I being closed-minded? Is there something that i am not seeing clearly?Am i sadist?

let me know in the comments below 🙂

 

 

 

 

LOVE

Hello good people. Now, this is going to be the most boring post you have ever come across to date.Although I pray you get to encounter more lethargic and lifeless writers than yours truly in the course of your life. I have always wanted to take an attempt at writing, you know, one of the many things one has to try out before finding their true purpose in life? I’m glad this audience resonates with my struggles, beautiful. The longevity of this posts will entirely be vested upon you, yes you (I have always wanted to do that). On your ability to endure grammatical errors,poor diction and my ideological approaches on matters concerning life,love, time and death. To add a little twist to this, I shall be inviting guests to give their opinion on these issues that are very important (I could have come up with a more catchier sentence i swear) issues. In fact, this will be a collaborative effort between me and all of you.I am currently working on creating my own website because i think WordPress is too crowded and cliché, but before then this will be our platform through which we will vent out and learn from one another.

Well, that was quite a preamble

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Today’s/ this week’s/ month’s topic is love. In January I had requested a couple of my friends to write on this topic and the articles I got were all genuine with a touch of genius. It was clear that nobody knows what it is. The acceptance of ones’ own ignorance is the beginning of learning, you know that old saying,he who knows that he does not know? Surprisingly so, nobody talked about self-love. They all alluded to romantic love and agape love. The ancient Greek divided love into eight types

  1. “EROS” OR EROTIC LOVE
  2. “PHILIA” OR AFFECTIONATE LOVE
  3. “STORGE” OR FAMILIAR LOVE
  4. “LUDUS” OR PLAYFUL LOVE
  5. “MANIA” OR OBSESSIVE LOVE
  6. “PRAGMA” OR ENDURING LOVE
  7. “PHILAUTIA” OR SELF LOVE
  8. “AGAPE” OR SELFLESS LOVE

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Now, kids, as your assignment today I shall ask you to google the meaning of all these types of love if you wish to know more about them because I do not want to bore you with a long post. Take your socks off, switch off your data, grab an apple(to keep the doctors away, you know) and let us see what these two wonderful animals had to say about love. I have only chosen the two because,well, because I am biased. If you would want a part two, I would willingly write on what the others had to say about love, but today it is Isabella Kanina Waitherero and Diana Maraga’s time to shine!

DIANA MARAGA ON LOVE

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Miss Diana
  1. “I know close to nothing about love
  2. i am even more clueless about romantic love
  3. my grammar is terrible , so bear with me
  4. i read this after and i realized i made no sense

Love is weird. The fact that I just wrote those words and just stared at the page should be enough(you know, to show how love is weird).

I feel love towards people but idk if it’s affection or not and if both (love and affection) are the same thing. Love is a feeling, at least I know that much. I think that love is somewhat independent and dependent at the same time; Independent such that it leaves no room for doubt and fear and dependent as it brings rise to other feelings like hope and trust.

Without faith, hope and trust, then idk if love would dwell in such an environment. I have had my own dealings with love. I love my friends and family. Love brings out a feeling of happiness and personal attachment. Tsukuru ( from the book Colourless Tsukuru And His Years Of Pilgrimage written by Haruki Murakami) was hella attached to his friends that after they abandoned him he felt empty.

My opinion on romantic love shouldn’t even be sought after. We’re all a bit hypocritical when it comes to this sort of love. We all have our expectations on how it should be like; and when someone does not match up to these standards per se we dismiss them. We dream about love and how we would want to love and be loved. But dreams are what they are, dreams, not reality, not an alternative reality, just our own creation of euphoria, mere reveries. Heck, even reality isn’t accounted for, let alone dreams. But I digress. I find it hard to believe that someone somewhere had dreams of  their perfect partner and their partner ticket each and every box. ‘ I have found the boy/ girl of my dreams’ did you, did you though? Maybe people settle, idk. But, love will always be there. Idk if love is a choice or not but we all do have our preferences. I do, however , believe the world would be a better place with more logic and truth rather than love and kindness. Love cloud’s one’s judgement, HORRIBLY! There is always a sense of subjectivity and bias when it comes to love. Love is warm and fuzzy while logic is cold, hard and difficult to swallow, two polar opposites. Love is good, it is great! But is makes us weak. A cross we have to carry and a weight we have to bear. Logic is waaaaaay more important. Logic AND truth. Maybe there’s some sort of yin and yang situation with love and logic/truth. But I don’t know, I cannot relate”

I know, I know, that was mind-boggling. I’d suggest you go for a glass of water/ whiskey for the next one for it gets better people!

“LOVE

The word love is quite ambiguous and does not have a definite description or explanation.

As a result, many definitions of  love have sprung up.These include:Love is an act of will which could mean that an action is done voluntarily. It is not a feeling. Our emotions are fleeting: one minute we feel madly, passionately in love,then the next we are arguing.

Love can also be termed as an emotion.This means that it is generated from an inner feeling that grows into a form of attraction especially physical,where you feel drawn to someone due to certain traits they bear which of course differ depending on people.We are all different in our own way. As it progresses over time,that is if this magical feeling does not fade,it develops  into something deeper which has now matured and can be called LOVE.

Love can also be a Choice.Why? You will realize that real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it’s a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Of course, you don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with.

Many at times people end up confusing between Love and Limerence.Limerence is a state of deep infatuation or better yet obsession with another person mainly for the purpose of reciprocity of ones feelings . Once one discovers the thin line between the two,he/she is now able to distinguish them in order to avoid confusion or making mistakes in future.

Being a Christian, I believe that four types of love exist:Agape love, Eros love, Phileo love and Storge love.Agape love describes God’s Unconditional love for Human Kind. Eros love is the Romantic kind of love shared in relationships especially between a man and a woman(Sexual attraction) and in marriages.Phileo type of love involves friendship, bonding and enjoying friends’ company while Storge love deals with Family loyalty.

Back in high school, I used to be obsessed with this idea of love and probably its still in me in a way.I would therefore come up with my own definitions or borrow a few from books or my friends. Some included:Love is the thread in the button that holds hearts together.Love is an endless mystery.Love  is sharing a part of yourself with others as it is more demonstrative than defined.My all time favourite was ..At the Touch of Love, Everyone becomes a Poet.They all made sense at that time.Now?I do not know.

My perception of love is that it can be an emotion as well as a choice.You choose to stick by the person you love no matter the situation, their flaws,short comings because you made the decision to commit to them but the connection has to be there. You need that inner feeling or energy that acts as a pull or push towards this person.It is so unfortunate and I stand to be corrected, that people say that love can end where the supposed fire died out and now nothing keeps that fire blazing and alive in the hearts involved anymore. I do not know if that is true or not.

I think  Love is brought about by some extra ordinary mechanism or force that is many at times is beyond our understanding and it ends up brewing some ‘Chemistry’ that is inexplicable and at the same time Beautiful.Love as a feeling, is a beautiful one.

Anyway,I am sure you are aware of whatever I have written but oh well, i hope i at least went to the direction that you were headed to.

Love, Bella”

I fear that if I add more to this you may never come back again so allow me to end this at that. Do comment below and share.

Remember, remain curious, be inspired 🙂